My Anonymous Phase

Note, everything here is based on opinion and expression. If you take me down, then you are proving the point of this post.

So... you know how when something bad happens to you, you go through an 'anger' stage where you will do/think something that will count as 'revenge' or 'fighting back' from the source of said anger? For me, this may sound weird but there was a time where I was considering joining Anonymous... or just support them in any way possible.

If you don't know, anonymous is this hacking group where they try to bring justice and equality to society, stopping the '1% who play God without permission' (Mr Robot, 2015). They are not a government party but an idea according to them. Basically, they want to restore balance to society as everything is filled with conflict and inequality like poverty and the unfair law system (according to them).

And you may be asking, why the [bleep] do I want to join anonymous? Why does someone like me want to be involved in this 'idea'? And how the heck did I ever heard of this group of people wearing 'V for Vendetta' Masks? 

The reasons begins when I was forced to delete my channel.

That one reason brought me not only to my 'depression / my life is over' phase but I was awakened by the injustice the people who were involved to take me down just because I had a voice. I was expressing myself through my rants and vlogs about my life and the fact that I was forced to delete my most popular videos then my channel and it got me really upset. One of the videos I was forced to put down was a video about 'Why I hated my preliminary exams' as SiTC 2014 was happening, TRXYE by Troye Sivan and 'Better Late than Never' by Stuck in Your Radio has been released ON THE SAME DAY and Season 8 of Doctor Who just premiered on TV! That's basically it, besides the fact I ranted about how hard my subjects are. Another video I was forced to take down was me singing 'Narda' by Kamikazee during an event 'on location' and lastly, I was forced to take down a video about how you give revenge to your ex by showing you are better off without him during the healing process. Yes... I was forced to take down this HARMLESS video for the vulnerable people on Valentines day, motivating them to not be miserable.

By this point, you should have a clue on who forced me to take down my channel. These people told me that doing this 'can ruin my reputation' or 'make me not have a job' and I have to 'suck up and accept the whole thing'. I want to point out that there are famous youtubers doing the same thing and they have like millions of subscribers. 

These people took my character the wrong way and forced me to take down my videos. My rants are similar to Danisnotonfire mashed up with I Hate Everything but they took everything literally and got really offensive. I told this to my peer group and there was a divide on who is right and wrong.

This memory still haunts me whenever I view my 'about' page in my YouTube channel as I'm no longer a legacy user.

I first went emo. I've been listening to Muse, My Chemical Romance, Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy constantly. I was very upset at school that if someone mentions what happened, I would end up 'blowing up', telling them to shut up as I can tell they have a part on taking me down (or just blantly accuse them)

But then I heard about Anonymous and how their goal is to restore order for the voice with no voice, with no power... and I am one of those people with no power during my fragile moments. I was treated unequally for injustice reasons. I was forced to remain silent till I graduate and finish HSC and for that... I can't say what I want to feel because 'I will be hunted down and thrown my ass in jail!' (Pyscho, Muse, 2014).

I know Anonymous is more on stopping the government but their main goal is stopping oppression to the 99% with no voice... and I want part of that. I wanted to fight back with the torment I was given during my darkest hour.

To me... Anonymous was my hope as I was already tired with the rules that I was forced to follow. (Yeah... I have a dark side).

But I know I have no chance in being in this group because I have no idea how to hack, heck, I don't even know how to code in my Tumblr page for pete sakes. 

So as usual, that idea is to me 'something that I would consider in an alternate timeline'. But recently, I just watched this TV show called 'Mr Robot' due to a university assignment and watching that brought back memories of me wanting to support the group.

Maybe this poster will help explain why:

Mr Robot is about this guy named Eliot who is a hacker who was chosen by this hacker group called F Society (this is the actual name, I'm not censoring anything here). The goal, take down E Corp (or Evil Corp) through hacking their systems and destroying their backups so that they can take down the 1% who play God without permission.

When I first saw this, my first impression was 'Ooh, the guy is bug eyed'... I'm not joking, here is the ACTUAL Facebook convo I had when discussing about this:

I watched the entire season 1 in 3 days (#suchprocrastination) but knowing their motives and the story and everything else, it brought me back to that phase of defying the people in control cuz... f*** society. And Mr Robot wasn't the first who made me express my anger of society, Muse's album 'Drones' was like a drug for me. I've been listening to all of their songs in that album (along with a few others) as the songs are about defying order. The 2015 film Straight Out of Compton also triggered this as its about how their 'art' is being threatened by the authorities. I even got in to My Chemical Romance due to the same reasons. The songs that I constantly listen from them are Destroya, I'm Not Ok, Welcome to the Black Parade, Teenagers and Kids From Yesterday.

Can you see the connections here? All are about defying order, being yourself no matter how many push and take you down, breaking the rules due to it's injustice.

What I'm saying is that, I'm not part of Anonymous, I don't think I'm worthy to be part of them but their motives on breaking social order and rebuilding it for the little people is something I support. I'm tired of being shut down for having a voice and an opinion. Just because I said one thing doesn't mean I'm that, this is just me expressing how I cope from being annoyed with the bullshit treatment I was given.

So  I will repeat this, everything here is based on opinion and expression. If you take me down, then you are proving the point of this post.

Am I the only one who felt like this? Were there times when you questioned the system and authority? Oh well.

So my name is Cutiejea and this has been my Life out of the Camera!

1 YEAR OF BLOGGING

Sup Guys, Cutiejea here!

Hey... today marks the 1 year I started this blog! (Yes... a full year!) And I can't believe it has been that long as I didn't know that I would be still doing this till this very day! Sure, the production ended up becoming '1 post per month' but hey, it's better than nothing right?

So... after 1 year of blogging, how did it change my life?

Well, besides the fact that this blog helped me express myself through words, it was this blog that help me get into the uni that I'm in (I'm really serious here). Reason being is because the Communications Degree is more than just playing with a camera, it's also being able to tell a story or write stuff. TBH, it was really useful in one of my assessment task in one of my uni class. Another reason is because I was in a portfolio day where I have to give my creative works for the same university and the only thing they were mostly interested was my blog. Like screw the photographs, songs, creative writing and all that, all we want is the blog! (Out of all the questions they asked me, the question regarding the use of blogs was the hardest)

So why did I started my blog in the first place last year? Well... to be completely honest, I was sent home after some 'issues' that occurred the day before. It wasn't my fault btw but my school thought it was safer if I was sent home (so yay... catch up homework and leaving your stuff in your locker without even knowing). I just got bored when I was home so I thought, why not blog! I was inspired by George Sheppard's blog on wordpress.

Either way, whether you follow me, read my entries or whatevs, thanks for reading my entries and being part of my story. It really means a lot. This blog is a lifestyle blog with a bit of random stuff but this is the closest thing to originality that people actually enjoy. Kinda odd thou that I started it on April Fools day but who gives a crap!

So I can't wait to write more entries for you and hope to see you soon and thank you for being with me for an entire year!

So my name is Cutiejea and this has been my Life out of the Camera!

PS: Feel free to follow me in my other social media accounts:

• YouTube
• Twitter
• Tumblr
• Instagram
• Wattpad
• Soundcloud
• 500px
• My Website

Becoming Trash for Undertale

Before I start, I want to give out a spoiler warning as Undertale is a game best played blind (meaning you need to have NO INFO about the game mechanics/story/etc) so if you haven't played it or the YouTuber you're watching hasn't finished playing it *coughs* Dan and Phil *coughs* DON'T READ THIS POST (unless u don't give a damn)

Sup guys, Cutiejea here!

So recently (well, late February) I got into Undertale and I swear to God that game is making me rethink about how I play games. I'm serious, right now... I'm too scared to do the genocide route as I heard once it's done, I live with those sins forever.

I'm not saying that 'Undertale beats any other game out there' or 'Undertale beats any other fandom out there'. All I'm saying is that I've become addicted about the effect that game has caused me and it's a good thing as it changed my perspective on video game tropes and conventions.

But this game... I've became trash under 4 days (4 DAYS!!!).

Here is the previous list that I used be trashed for:

1. Phandom
2. Muse
3. Shamy
4. Nowhere Boys
5. Sheppard

Here is the list now:

1. Phandom
2. Muse
3. Undertale
4. Shamy
5. Nowhere Boys

It first started when I watched Dan and Phil played it in YouTube then I bought the game because it seemed fun! So I got the game and watched a few YouTube videos so I can get a basic introduction on what Undertale is about. Also, I watched Game Theory's episode about Sans and that got me hooked. Then after 2 hours of playing, I got the soundtrack because the music is very good. My fave songs are Home, Heartache, Another Medium, Undertale, Hopes and Dreams and Megalovania. Then there were the post in Tumblr and 4 hours in the game, I've became trash.

This brought me to the point where I wanted where I wanted to write a Charisk (Chara x Frisk) fan fic on wattpad!

First chapter is out and more soon to come (Wattpad link)

But Undertale, I have to say, it's now one of my most fave games so far... even better than Pokemon (and I swear, I'm a total nerd for the GAMES [not the tv series]) and defeated my love for Skyrim (A game I played for 70 hours back in 2014/15!). Undertale will make you laugh, cry and think about your actions when controlling Frisk that right now, I'm now having second thoughts on doing the genocide route.

But what caused me to become Trash for Undertale is the idea of multiple interpretations of what could have happened in the game, what could have happened next and so on. Also, you can create original characters that can also have an effect to the new plot line or you can put in more character development between the main cast that it creates new depth into the story. One of my fave tumblr blogs doing this is Ask Frisk and Company where its a fan fiction mixed with audience participation, meaning, our questions and ask to the blog can have an effect on the plot line. (link to the chronological order of the story [part till we're introduced to Lucinda])

If you want a quick summary of the story, click here.

Another is the shipping. Anything can be shipped in the game. We have the usual ships, Chara and Frisk (Charisk), Sans and Toriel (Soriel), Alphys and Undyne (???). But we also have the odd ships which I accept like Monster Kid and Frisk, Mettaton and Papyrus, Papyrus and Undyne. Basically, if you can prove that your ship can be legit, then congratulations, it's accepted.

And the best part is the original music/mash-ups/parodies/covers the community has created. I have a few faves but they're really good (especially the ones who uses Megalovania as the main beat for their songs)

The reason why I've became trash for Undertale in a short amount of time is something I'm still trying to figure out. I guess it's because the game is open to interpretation that the creative side of me wants to know more and wants to jump in into the action. I can just say 'Undertale is just a game and I enjoyed it' but the game broke gaming conventions where music is built to match the scene and the idea of saving and restarting can also affect the gameplay dialogue. It's breaking the rules on how video games work, reinventing the format on how it's play and changing how we experience playing video games. Normally, we play games like 'you need to do this' or 'you need to kill this dude' and it's mostly a linear timeline. Undertale is also a linear timeline but it's more on a hierarchy timeline as each action can alter anything that can happen. This is what got me interested into the game, that one small step can change anything. The story can reach many ending and you are given the ability to expand on those endings and create new stories based on your experiences.

Undertale is not just a video game, it's a game where you have room to expand the Undertale Universe as the characters you meet and encounter will leave a significant bond as you play the main game. To me, Undertale is Minecraft meets Skyrim, a game where your actions creates an impact on your character but you can build on the story further (hence why I'm writing a fan fic of the game in Wattpad).

Toby Fox, if you are reading this (which I highly doubt you are), thank you for creating a game where our actions in the game creates an impact in the game and also creating a story where we can expand on. This game has to be the best game in 2016 (unless Pokemon Sun and Moon gives a better impression).

So if you haven't played the game, I suggest you should as it's a fun game to play and it may be a bit challenging but the story in it will inspire you to create an extended plot line on what happens next. And the soundtrack is really good so I also suggest listening to that as well!

My name is Cutiejea and this has been Life out of the Camera

(PS: I made a Undertale fan animation using plotagon and it's arriving this Friday so here is the link)