Wednesday, 27 April 2016

My Anonymous Phase

Note, everything here is based on opinion and expression. If you take me down, then you are proving the point of this post.

So... you know how when something bad happens to you, you go through an 'anger' stage where you will do/think something that will count as 'revenge' or 'fighting back' from the source of said anger? For me, this may sound weird but there was a time where I was considering joining Anonymous... or just support them in any way possible.

If you don't know, anonymous is this hacking group where they try to bring justice and equality to society, stopping the '1% who play God without permission' (Mr Robot, 2015). They are not a government party but an idea according to them. Basically, they want to restore balance to society as everything is filled with conflict and inequality like poverty and the unfair law system (according to them).

And you may be asking, why the [bleep] do I want to join anonymous? Why does someone like me want to be involved in this 'idea'? And how the heck did I ever heard of this group of people wearing 'V for Vendetta' Masks? 

The reasons begins when I was forced to delete my channel.

That one reason brought me not only to my 'depression / my life is over' phase but I was awakened by the injustice the people who were involved to take me down just because I had a voice. I was expressing myself through my rants and vlogs about my life and the fact that I was forced to delete my most popular videos then my channel and it got me really upset. One of the videos I was forced to put down was a video about 'Why I hated my preliminary exams' as SiTC 2014 was happening, TRXYE by Troye Sivan and 'Better Late than Never' by Stuck in Your Radio has been released ON THE SAME DAY and Season 8 of Doctor Who just premiered on TV! That's basically it, besides the fact I ranted about how hard my subjects are. Another video I was forced to take down was me singing 'Narda' by Kamikazee during an event 'on location' and lastly, I was forced to take down a video about how you give revenge to your ex by showing you are better off without him during the healing process. Yes... I was forced to take down this HARMLESS video for the vulnerable people on Valentines day, motivating them to not be miserable.

By this point, you should have a clue on who forced me to take down my channel. These people told me that doing this 'can ruin my reputation' or 'make me not have a job' and I have to 'suck up and accept the whole thing'. I want to point out that there are famous youtubers doing the same thing and they have like millions of subscribers. 

These people took my character the wrong way and forced me to take down my videos. My rants are similar to Danisnotonfire mashed up with I Hate Everything but they took everything literally and got really offensive. I told this to my peer group and there was a divide on who is right and wrong.

This memory still haunts me whenever I view my 'about' page in my YouTube channel as I'm no longer a legacy user.

I first went emo. I've been listening to Muse, My Chemical Romance, Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy constantly. I was very upset at school that if someone mentions what happened, I would end up 'blowing up', telling them to shut up as I can tell they have a part on taking me down (or just blantly accuse them)

But then I heard about Anonymous and how their goal is to restore order for the voice with no voice, with no power... and I am one of those people with no power during my fragile moments. I was treated unequally for injustice reasons. I was forced to remain silent till I graduate and finish HSC and for that... I can't say what I want to feel because 'I will be hunted down and thrown my ass in jail!' (Pyscho, Muse, 2014).

I know Anonymous is more on stopping the government but their main goal is stopping oppression to the 99% with no voice... and I want part of that. I wanted to fight back with the torment I was given during my darkest hour.

To me... Anonymous was my hope as I was already tired with the rules that I was forced to follow. (Yeah... I have a dark side).

But I know I have no chance in being in this group because I have no idea how to hack, heck, I don't even know how to code in my Tumblr page for pete sakes. 

So as usual, that idea is to me 'something that I would consider in an alternate timeline'. But recently, I just watched this TV show called 'Mr Robot' due to a university assignment and watching that brought back memories of me wanting to support the group.

Maybe this poster will help explain why:

Mr Robot is about this guy named Eliot who is a hacker who was chosen by this hacker group called F Society (this is the actual name, I'm not censoring anything here). The goal, take down E Corp (or Evil Corp) through hacking their systems and destroying their backups so that they can take down the 1% who play God without permission.

When I first saw this, my first impression was 'Ooh, the guy is bug eyed'... I'm not joking, here is the ACTUAL Facebook convo I had when discussing about this:

I watched the entire season 1 in 3 days (#suchprocrastination) but knowing their motives and the story and everything else, it brought me back to that phase of defying the people in control cuz... f*** society. And Mr Robot wasn't the first who made me express my anger of society, Muse's album 'Drones' was like a drug for me. I've been listening to all of their songs in that album (along with a few others) as the songs are about defying order. The 2015 film Straight Out of Compton also triggered this as its about how their 'art' is being threatened by the authorities. I even got in to My Chemical Romance due to the same reasons. The songs that I constantly listen from them are Destroya, I'm Not Ok, Welcome to the Black Parade, Teenagers and Kids From Yesterday.

Can you see the connections here? All are about defying order, being yourself no matter how many push and take you down, breaking the rules due to it's injustice.

What I'm saying is that, I'm not part of Anonymous, I don't think I'm worthy to be part of them but their motives on breaking social order and rebuilding it for the little people is something I support. I'm tired of being shut down for having a voice and an opinion. Just because I said one thing doesn't mean I'm that, this is just me expressing how I cope from being annoyed with the bullshit treatment I was given.

So  I will repeat this, everything here is based on opinion and expression. If you take me down, then you are proving the point of this post.

Am I the only one who felt like this? Were there times when you questioned the system and authority? Oh well.

So my name is Cutiejea and this has been my Life out of the Camera!

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